He's father, he knows best; Our kids watch Howdy Doody as...

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future

-- Steve Miller Band

I have determined the reason I saw so few birds at the sanctuary on Friday is that the avians of Naples feel no need to be protected from humans. They're pretty fearless.

This morning, we went to the Naples Pier. Resting on top of the entrance was an egret. As we walked further in, a sea gull was perched on the railing, posing for photos. Seriously, he was letting people get within a foot or two of him for a picture. And on the way back, I saw a raven fly down and perch on the pier, with a piece of food in his mouth. Pelicans are also extremely common there. So common that they put out signs asking visitors not to feed them, the same way that lakes in New Jersey have signs asking people not to feed the ducks.

While at the pier, in addition to the ornithology experience, I was also stopped by a group of German tourists who asked me to take their photo. Why me, I don't know. Maybe I have a trustworthy face. I'm told, by the way, Germans like visiting Naples. I'm not sure why they find it a popular destination.

The pier would be an interesting historic monument, if it were genuine. The original one was built in the 1880s. However, it keeps getting destroyed by hurricanes and rebuilt.

This evening, we took a sunset cruise. Again, there were plenty of birds flying around and enjoying themselves. My favorite was the pelican who decided to hitch a ride on our boat. He (or maybe she) just hopped on, and stayed there, for 20 minutes of the tour. Like the seagull, he seemed happy to pose for pictures. A very cool bird.

He might have been interested in learning how homes in Naples are built, which the tour explained: if it's along the river, they're constructed by people who aren't aware the real estate market collapsed a few years ago. People are still spending tens of millions of dollars for property there, and often they'll demolish the mansions as soon as they've bought the land. There's one multi-millionaire who bought an island off the coast. He's already build a 24,000 square foot guest house, and he's building 13 more homes of similar size, one for each of his children. The only way to get to them is by boat. Crazy.

Thanks to your local library

Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool: Your decimal system has played right into my hands!

-- The Big Brain, Futurama

Since we were unimpressed with Blockbuster's selection, and since we still wanted to watch movies, and since they're free at the place referred to in the above quoted episode of Futurama as a "lie-berry" we went to the Naples Public Library to see what was available.

When we approached it, I thought it must have been a church at one point (see photo). Apparently, it wasn't. It was built for this purpose. Except for that little sign on the right hand side of the entrance, which lists its hours, you'd have no proof of its purpose.

In all honesty, it looks like a nice building. I didn't look around it too much, except for its video section, which seems decent. Too decent.

When you check out a DVD from Naples, you can keep it for up to three weeks. Twenty-one days. Five hundred and four hours. And we're not talking only for documentaries, but for all movies. That strikes me as a bit excessive.

There is a limit -- but a generous one -- on how many you can take out. While we were waiting in line, the people ahead of us had the following conversation:

CIRCULATION: I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed to have six videos out at a time. You already have one checked out, and you're trying to check out six.
PATRON: Yes. I have six I want to check out.
CIRC: But you have a DVD at home already, right?
PATRON: Yes. I've got that documentary.
CIRC: So you can only take out five more.
PATRON: Okay. So can I take all these out?
CIRC: No. There are six here.

(If you enjoyed this conversation, and want to see others like it, I recommend the website notalwaysright.com)

Hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull. / Suppose you were, you silly seagull. / Could you explain it to your she-gull?

Ogden Nash

Today's blog post is dedicated to the Red Bellied Woodpecker I saw at Corkscrew Swamp. The full name of the place is Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary and Blair Audubon Center, but that's a bit of a mouthful.

But as the full name implies, this place is an animal sanctuary. We got in for free since my aunt gave us her family pass, but I contributed two bucks in order to get a guide. According to the guide, the park has raccoons, otters, deer, snakebirds, herons, egrets, alligators, and more. Their website says there are also bears, armadillos, and even bald eagles have been spotted in the land.

These are the animals I got within 200 feet of (there were some large birds overhead, but they were way off in the distance, so don't count):

• A spider
• Some squirrels
• A dove
• Two bees (one was only seen through a telescope)
• Although I didn't see it, a bunch of school kids on a tour said there was a beetle under a leaf. The kids seemed pretty honest, so I'll accept that.
• Some tadpoles (or maybe just some eddies in the water)
  
• And that woodpecker

Only the dove and the woodpecker were nice enough to stand still long enough to be photographed, and only the woodpecker strikes me as even a little unusual. How do I know it's a Red Bellied Woodpecker and not a Pileated Woodpecker, also found in the sanctuary? It's because of the new camera I bought before the trip. It's not anything spectacular by today's standards (or by the standards of the people who showed up to the park with telephoto lenses nearly as long as my arm) but it does have 5x zoom and 12 megapixels. That was enough detail for me to see the pattern on its back in the photo. All I could see in real life was the red patch on its head. (I'd load the photo, but I'm feeling tired.)

Not that I had a bad time at the sanctuary. But the animals were not cooperating. After we left the park, we saw some much more interesting critters, such as the pelicans flying over the water while we dined at Buzz's Lighthouse.

Today, I also learned that your Blockbusters card never goes bad. The last time I rented something from them was probably 2005, when I checked out some Playstation games. Still, after half a decade and 1,300 miles, it's still accepted.

We were looking for something to watch, obviously. Our choice, "Beyond A Reasonable Doubt," was probably not the best one. I won't talk about the film here, but I will complain about the IMDB's entry on it. As with all their films, the category "Plot Keywords" requires mousing over to avoid spoilers. But I don't think the categories of "Remake" or "Remake of an American Film" give anything away.

Turn the radio up

I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero... I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?

-- Homer Simpson

I'm waiting for a call back, and expect to go out soon, so this will be a short entry. Also, I spent most of the day driving, not seeing interesting things.

First of all, my hotel room has a dishwasher, which I find really cool. I'm tempted to get the dishes dirty just so I can use the dishwasher.

Now two observations I had while driving:

1) Florida has a lot of bikers. I suppose it shouldn't be surprising. Up north, you can't take motorcycles out that well in the winter months. Here, you're not supposed to have to worry about cold weather, thought they were talking about the possibility of frost on the radio.

2) Each area you drive through has its own sort of radio stations. In the Outer Banks, I felt like I was living a few years ago, hearing songs like Three Doors Down's "Kryptonite." Going through Florida, I wasn't surprised by the numerous Christian and Country stations I flipped past on the way down, but the number of 80s stations was weird. I heard the song "Shot Through The Heart" at least three times today.

Cinema, signs, synagogues and supping

When we fought the Yankees and annihilation was near/ Who was there to lead the charge that took us safe to the rear?

-- L'il Abner

The scenic historic city of Savannah owes its continued existence to the fact that the Confederate Army ran away from Sherman as he was marching through the South. Because the Rebel Army retreated to South Carolina, the Union left the place intact. And, as the guide on the tour trolley I took (because hey, when will do I get a chance to ride a trolley car?) noted, without that, he wouldn't have a job pointing out the many interesting historic sites.

But, because you have Wikipedia, I won't go into detail about this place's rich history. I'll just point out a few things I found interesting.

1) Savannah was the inspiration for a host of movies, most of which I have little to no interest in. It was the site of the killing that inspired John Berendt to write "Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil," which inspired Clint Eastwood to make the movie. (I passed the house where the deed took place, and the cafe where Berendt got the idea for the film.) It contains an old railway car that has been converted into a restaurant, the Whistlestop Cafe. I think the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" dropped the eatery's name when it turned the book into a movie. The opening scene of "Forrest Gump" takes place in one of the city's many squares. And the inspiration for "Driving Miss Daisy" came from a real Savannah woman who went to the synagogue I visited, described below.

2) See that funny looking message at the bottom of the sign? In New Jersey, the phrase "Stop for pedestrians at crosswalk" would mean "Honk to warn the stupid pedestrians to move back to the sidewalk or face the consequences." In Georgia, people take it seriously. Several times, as I was waiting patiently on the sidewalk for a car going 25 or 30 mph to go through an intersection so I could cross, the driver stopped to let me go through. Either the police really enforce that rule, or this is an example of southern hospitality.

3) I visited the third oldest synagogue in the in the United States, Congregation Mickve Israel, and saw what is probably the oldest Torah in the new world. It was brought over by the original founders in the 1730s, and was apparently a couple of centuries old then. They still read from it once a year. (They don't actually roll the scroll; it's always kept to the same place. The reading is in mid-July, so I guess it's some portion from the book of Numbers. I didn't spend enough time looking at it to figure out which passage it is.) At some point in the 19th century, it became a Reform temple; by the 1860s they were playing organ music during the services. I was also told by the man giving the tour, a transplant from Cherry Hill, NJ, that there are no good delis in Savannah, and it is impossible to get a good bagel in Georgia. "They have Panera's," he scoffed. "We had bagels at our hotel breakfast this morning," said the other couple on the tour, "...and they weren't very good." My biggest regret about the visit is my choice of souvenirs. I picked up a book of photographs. After I had stepped out, I realized that they had a bunch of t-shirts that said "Shalom Y'all," which would have been a much, much cooler memento of southern Judaism.

4) I had lunch at BD Burgers, which has been voted the best burger joint in the city for something like eight years in a row. They do have very nice burgers; the beef tastes rich; it was well cooked on the outside and pink on the inside. The buns are very soft; they almost dissolve in the burger's juices. And the onion rings were straight from the fryer and very crisp.

I now know four Grateful Dead songs

Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street./ Your typical city involved in a typical daydream/ Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings.

-- Truckin', Grateful Dead*

The most interesting part of my day was definitely the truck stop I accidentally wound up at.

When you're driving major roads in New Jersey, and most of the northeast, it's easy to figure out where to stop and eat: at the rest stops on the roadways. It's not great food, but you don't need to get off the thoroughfare. (Italy also has these; they call them Autogrills, and you can get both decent food and wine there).

In other states, you just need to look at the signs and figure out what you'd like. They list the restaurants and gas stations at the nearest exit. In this case, it was getting up to lunch time, I'd just gotten onto I-95, and the only restaurants around seemed to be McDonalds and a fast food place called Bojangles we don't have up north. I was tempted to try it, but wasn't really in the mood for fried chicken.

Then I saw a sign for five or six restaurants. I took that exit, and it turned out to be a truck stop area. There was a parking area for cars as well, so I went in. (It turned out that most of the restaurants were still under construction or renovation, so I wound up with fast food anyway.)

I've talked to truckers, and knew about the stops, but don't believe I've ever been in one before. A lot of it makes sense for people who are on the road a lot, like the pay showers near the bathrooms. They also sell a lot of things you'd want if you were spending a lot of time on the road. There are auto supplies, convenience-store foods, underwear, paperbacks, books on audio, and DVDs (they were advertised as discount DVDs, but I thought the price was average).

There was also, for some reason, a lot of Christian kitsch. One of the t-shirts they sold had the orange and brown pattern of a chocolate-peanut butter candy, but had put the word "Jesus" instead of Reese's. Another had a picture of the world on fire, and said something like "Get ready for global warming," followed by some bible verse. I assume it's connected to burning in hell somehow.

I'd have taken some pictures, but it seemed a bit rude to do that indoors. This photo was taken just as I left. I'd have tried for a better angle, but it was about to rain.

Two other notes about today's journey.
1) Apparently very few people go from the Outer Banks to Georgia, or at least few take the route I do. There was one period when I didn't see a single car on the roads I was on for over half an hour. This was by the Alligator River National Wildlife Refuge, which is a rather scenic area, even though I saw neither gator nor bear, which signs told me to look out for.

2) I'm staying at the Oglethorpe Inn in Savannah, and so far highly recommend it. The lobby is beautiful, and the rooms are spacious.

And, on a bookkeeping note, I've changed the options for commenting on this site, since several people said they had trouble leaving messages.

* (I had to look up the lyrics for that quote. I don't think I've ever listened to more than the first two lines before.)

I get no kick from a plane

Orville, Wilbur, go outside this minute,/ And there continue with your silly playing!/ Take these plans and take those blueprints./ Take that funny looking thing,/ Take that wheel, take that wing,/ I can't hear a thing that Mrs. Johnson's saying.

Mother Necessity, School House Rock

Before I tell about my trips today, two notes from last night.

As I mentioned, I travel with a Droid. One of the the things the mobile Google page has is a "near me now" link. If you press it, you can find nearby restaurants, shops, entertainment, etc. Very useful. Since I got hungry after posting, I found out about the Outer Banks Brewing Station. (They make their own beer, and they're wind powered. I had the Captain's Porter.)

Also, the Outer Banks is much prettier in the day than at night. When I got here, it could have been any town. But in the daytime, I can see the ocean from outside my hotel, and the roads all go over scenic bridges.

On Dec. 17, 1903, Wilbur and Orville Wright made history by making the flight. (Unless you count balloons, or birds, or pterodactyls. You know what I mean.) The spot where they made it is about a a mile from my hotel, so I checked it out.

I found it both awe inspiring and dinky.

The inspiring: I've been on planes that have flown to other continents, and it's amazing that several tons of steel can stay in the air for thousands of miles. And there's a sense of history. You can walk the same strip that Wilbur did as he guided his brother in the plane before it took off. Plus there's a majestic monument on a hill overlooking the site.

The dinky: The first flight went 120 feet. I think the planes I've been on are longer than that. And the ground around the markers commemorating the first flights are huge and barren. It's like the Wright brothers didn't want to try their experimental vehicle where there were any trees or buildings it could crash into.

Since you're reading this online, and they're probably two of the best known Americans in history, I won't go into most of the details. I will, however, share to things I learned and liked:

• Orville Wright was a newspaper publisher. Since I work at a paper, that interests me. What I really love is that he was perfectly happy to cram his paper with filler (stories that aren't timely or necessarily local). Look at this Library of Congress copy of the paper, which starts out with a story of a Frenchman who wears disguises. The big news story about a gas company demanding it be allowed to raise its rates is in the middle of page 2.
• I love the names of the towns in this area: Duck, Nag's Head, Kitty Hawk, Kill Devil Hills. They're so evocative. There was a quote at the monument site from Wilbur: "The practice ground at the Kill Devil Hills consists of a level plain of bare sand, from which rises a group of detached hills or mounds formed of sand heaped up by the winds. These hills are constantly changing in height and slope." So the place was named because of its devilish hills.

I also visited Fort Raleigh National Historic Site. Because that's abbreviated Fort Raleigh N.H.S. on the map, my Droid insists it is called "Fort Raleigh N High School." It's dedicated to the lost colony of Roanoke. I think my favorite part there (since the historic recreations are only done during the summer) was the nature trail. At that trail, they've constructed a narrative as to why the colony disappeared: the colonists had no idea how to live off the land, so they starved. They admit it's speculation, but it's interesting speculation. I also really loved how they reprinted notes from the would-be colonists with original spelling and punctuation intact. I liked it so much I picked up "A Briefe and True Report of the New Found Land of Virginia" written by Thomas Harriot in 1590. I believe in getting souvenirs for sites.

I did other stuff today too, but it was less interesting. Surely you don't want to hear about my quest for earphones. Actually, you might. I left mine at home, and realized during the nature walk that the plight of the lost colonists would be much more interesting with some They Might Be Giants playing. So I went looking for another set. I found a type I liked for a decent price at K-Mart. And this is the amazing part: I only had to wait in line for less two minutes before I was checked out. That never happens to me in New Jersey. There, I can be the only person in the store and it will still take them 10 minutes to ring up my order.

Tune in tomorrow for the saga of going down to Georgia. And now I have the Charlie Daniels Band stuck in my head.