Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Sugar, honey, honey

I ate and ate and ate,/ no I did not miss a plate, well/ How much do these suppers cost?/ We'll take it out in hate.*
Leonard Cohen

I've been snacking since I came home from work. That's because there's nothing to eat in the house.

That's a gross simplification. Actually, there are no complex carbohydrates I want to eat. So I keep trying to fool my stomach, which isn't buying it.

For my non-Jewish, or non-observant readers, or people who are reading this post four months from now, as I write this, I'm observing Passover. That means there are a ton of restrictions on what I can eat: nothing made with grain (except matzo), nothing with legumes, nothing with corn, nothing with rice. Many people think it just means no bread, but it covers a surprisingly large array of foods. For example, did you know that peanuts are not actually a nut, but a legume? If I wanted a PBJ matzo I'd be out of luck.

Fortunately for me, I don't want one. I am not a fan of matzo, and try to have as little as possible. Unfortunately for me, that means there's not too many carbohydrates available. And I am not on the Atkins diet. One of the wonderful things about bread, rice, pasta, etc. is that they are filling. My stomach has adapted to assuming I'm full if it's got a good helping of carbs there. And without it, it keeps saying I haven't had enough, no matter how much I put in.

"Here's some trail mix," I'll tell my stomach. "Don't those nuts have the texture of whole grain bread? Don't those raisins supply you with the same sort of energy?"

"Ha!" laughs my stomach. "Nobody would think that an almond is the same as a nice chewy loaf of bread. And the sugar in those raisins will just give you a five-minute sugar rush. Then you'll crash and try another food that won't fool me."

I don't want to kvetch too much in this blog, so I'll point out the part of Passover food I do like: it has excellent candy and soda. Earlier, I mentioned corn is forbidden. Today, most sweets are made with high fructose corn syrup. (And plenty of other things. When I buy marinara sauce, I always look for a corn syrup free variety. Why would you put syrup in tomatoes? Why?)

For Passover, they have to be made with sugar. And sugar tastes better. Sodas don't have that slightly-off bitter taste they normally do. (The only decent lemon soda I've ever had I bought during Passover. It's a brand called Beer Mayim, and it not only uses sugar, but only half the normal amount put in most lemon sodas. So it's much, much less cloying and much more refreshing. Naturally, I haven't been able to find it for three years.) I think sugar also makes the chocolates and other sweets taste richer. And, since I'm snacking a lot, I have a lot of sweets.

That doesn't mean it's perfect. For one of the seders, I bought a chocolate sampler. Two different people at the table had the same reaction. The first piece they had was delicious. The next piece had some weird fruity filling they couldn't stand.

* I wonder if Leonard Cohen has a song about Passover. "Isaac" is a song about when Abraham attempted to sacrifice his son. "Who By Fire" is a play on a classic Yom Kippur prayer. "Hallelujah" is chock full of biblical references (and is a song I really dig, but never want to hear in another movie soundtrack). Plenty of others have a Jewish feel. But I don't know any specific Passover tunes from him.

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